Before AmeriCorps, part 3

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“I’m sorry. If I had a job, this wouldn’t happen.”

My mom cried onto my shoulder while she hugged me. We just found out that in order to join AmeriCorps NCCC, I would need to pay $25 to get my finger prints to send to the AmeriCorps headquarters in Iowa. She held me so tight and I could feel my shirt starting to get wet from her tears. My mom was a successful insurance agent at a well known insurance company. Things were doing so good, she quit to start her own insurance business. This was a few months before the big recession hit. We found out that the company she got the business loan from was a scam and she was never able to successfully start her business and, instead, left us with a bunch of debt. This was her second year without a job. At night I could hear her crying through the bedroom walls and I would cry with her without her knowing. Because of this, my mom blamed everything on her not having a job. The stars could have fell out of the sky that night and my mom would have still said, “If I had a job, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Joining AmeriCorps NCCC became my life goal. I thought, “I don’t want to be a nobody like my ex. If I join AmeriCorps, I will make my parents proud.”

If I didn’t pay the $25 and send the prints in in time, I wouldn’t be able to join. I remember the days when $25 used to be nothing, but now it’s everything. $25 now to us might as well be $50.

We pulled a desperate move. I woke up one day and my mom had a crazy look in her eye. Crazy with joy. We rummaged the house for anything we thought was valuable and stacked it all up in the back of the car. My sewing machine (that I never learned how to use, but somehow never wanted to give away because “I will learn one day”, I would say), my guitar (never learned how to use this either, but kept it for the same reasons), some early 90’s looking fax machine, and my mothers most prized possession: her mothers jewelry. I looked at her surprised with a “please don’t sell it expression on my face” and she nodded with a smile. My grandma passed away a few years ago and my mom has been torn up about it ever since.

We hopped in the car and, for the first time in our lives, rode to a pawn shop and one of those “We buy gold here!” shops. We went in just as fast as we came out. Apparently, the jewelry isn’t worth the shit off our shoes and the rest totaled to barely $20.

I’m not selling my prized guitar (from Walmart, btw) for $10, I thought.

We turned up our nose and jumped back in the car with much less excitement than we started with. We were hoping for at least $100. When we got home, we looked at each other and laughed.

Me, the college drop out, and, my mom, the unemployed senior. We never in our lives thought that we would live like this. Pretty soon, the trash man stopped coming to pick up our trash because we couldn’t pay him anymore so we had to take our own trash to a place to dispose of it. Our lights went out at times, we barely had any food, and the hot water stopped working. It sounds depressing, but I always saw lights out days as family fun days. I loved curling up in a blanket reading by candlelight and talking with my family. When the lights go out, people change.

We lived paycheck to paycheck on my dad’s salary. He was the only person paying the bills in our 3 person household (my brother moved out). To make matters worse, my dads health was slowly declining and he could barely walk on his right leg- the very leg that he uses for work. My dad drives for a living for a healthcare company. If my dads leg goes out, we are through.

Luckily, we were able to manage $25 out of my dads paycheck to get my finger prints and send them into AmeriCorps NCCC, but did they arrive in time?

I received an e-mail from AmeriCorps telling me that my application was declined.

My whole world fell apart when I read that. Which brings me back to my mom crying on my shoulder telling me this wouldn’t have happened if she had a job and, in return, I cried thinking this wouldn’t have happened if I had a job. I cried with her and told her it wasn’t her fault. We did all we could do. I called AmeriCorps to see if they may have made a mistake and, for a second, I almost started to believe in God again.

They actually admitted to making a mistake on my application and changed my “decline” status to “pending”. My family breathed the biggest sigh of relief and it was such a happy moment. Pending isn’t accepted, but anything is better than declined.

Before AmeriCorps, part 2

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He screamed through the phone. So loud, my friends could hear because they were sitting right next to me. “GET A JOB!” The voice is my boyfriend, Morris, the one who made me happy. The one who dropped out of college and has nothing to do all day but smoke weed and a dead end part time job at a plant nursery. We dated for 10 months. I get a call a few days later, “I have good news and I have bad news: The bad news is that I’m breaking up with you and the good news is that we can still be friends.”

Why would I want to be friends with a guy who cheated on me?

It was the second time in life I had been friend zoned, the second time I had been cheated on, and the sixth time I had been rejected. My voice is smooth. I say “ok” and hang up. I have too much pride to give any answer, but a simple answer. I successfully pulled another one of my famous silent cries- cries so silent no one would ever notice you were crying if they weren’t looking at you. It took me years to master this art. Afterwards, to soothe his guilty conscience, he sends me a text telling me how awesome I am.

Why did you cheat on me if I’m so awesome?

Being called awesome right after a guy cheats on me and dumps me after putting me in the friend zone is something I’ve grown used to. Because of this, I’ve grown a hatred for the word “awesome”.

I lost my boyfriend and my friends continued to bully me. It was final exam week and I was seated in my desk in my algebra class taking the final exam that would determine my fate. If I failed, I would be a college drop out like my ex. If I passed, I would transfer schools and live a successful life. The papers were passed out and I dove in to answer the first question. The WTF expression was all over my face. “That’s ok. Maybe the next question will be better.” Nope. I actually flopped over on my desk and did another one of my famous silent cries right in the middle of class thinking that I’m going to get kicked out of college and become a prostitute because isn’t that what they teach you in school? If you don’t graduate, you’re nothing.

The exam was over and the teacher passed out little folded sheets of paper. If you passed, it would read “Congratulations, you passed!” in big bold letters. Everyone around me cheered and jumped and screamed, others were silent. I took a second to open mine, but I had a good idea what my fate would be.

Mine read “Congratulations, you passed! failed!”

Passed was scratched out and failed was written next to it in pen.

I was given the chance to appeal it and the only way to do that was to write a one page essay describing why I should get a second chance and drive 3 hours from my house near Atlanta to Tifton, GA to speak with the school board in person and read them my paper. Writing has always been my strong point so the paper was a piece of cake. It was saving up enough money to make the 3 hour drive that was hard. Despite our money situation, my parents saved up enough money and made the 3 hour drive to Tifton in a desperate attempt to save my life. My mom and I waited in the office to get a chance to speak with the school board. She said a prayer over me and we held hands. Before making the drive, the person I talked to over the phone sounded 200% positive that my appeal would get approved because, outside of those two classes, my grades were great, but, within 10 minutes of arriving to Tifton, the receptionist walked into the office where we sat waiting and told us that my appeal was denied. We saved up gas money and drove 3 hours for less than 1 minute of conversation of what could have been told to us over the phone. I never even got the chance to speak with the school board or read my paper.

My fate was decided. I was kicked out of college and banned from attending all colleges within the state of Georgia (excluding technical colleges and private colleges) for 3 years.

And, in a sick way, I was happy because I knew this meant I was free to donate one year of my life to serving in AmeriCorps NCCC.

And no more math!

I immediately balled the paper up that I held in my hands and we made the 3 hour drive back home.

Before AmeriCorps, part 1

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I knew I wanted to join AmeriCorps NCCC the very second I read about it when I was 19 years old in college in a little town in Southern Georgia called Tifton.

Little did I know that dream would soon become my life and it would be the only thing I would think about from waking up early for my 7am algebra class (failed that class horribly, by the way… Who the fuck in their right mind signs up for a 7am algebra class?) to going to bed at 2am while laughing to Adult Swim and cursing my laptop for not being fast enough to play Second Life along with all the other cool kids when I should have been writing my 10 page English paper (Never wrote it… failed that class too by the way).

If you hadn’t already guessed, I was well on my way to flunking college. I didn’t know that at the time though. I was young, I was in college, and, in my mind, I had every right to fail a class… or two seeing as I did so good in school for 19 years of my life. In every nerds life, this is a turning point. A point of self realization. I learned early in life that math would hate me and I would hate it in return just as much, if not more. It’s not the failing math that surprised me; it was the fact that I failed English. It was the first time in my life I had failed any class outside of math and it was the first time I didn’t genuinely enjoy reading.

I stopped reading that year. And I stopped drawing. On my 20th birthday, I stopped believing in God. My friends threw me a birthday party which was much like a going away party because we were transferring out of the two year college scene (or, at least, that is what I planned to do). When I say “friends”, I use this word very lightly and only to let you, the reader, know that I once had a close acquaintance with these people. These people are the reason why I stopped believing in God and also probably the reason why I failed English for the first time. Yes, I’m blaming others for my down falls in life. Shoot me.

They managed to bring out my depression to the fullest extent and what was so dumb about it is that I let them. I intentionally hung around people who made me feel like shit and bullied me on a daily basis. It started off nice, like most relationships and ended horribly, like most relationships. I distinctly remember crying in my dorm room at night praying to God to make them stop bullying me, but my prayers were never answered. All throughout the party, I hear nothing but murmurs and whispers about my weight and how much of a slut I am and how big my nose is and how old I look.

“Well, your nose is too big for that hairstyle.”, she would say to my face as she sat in my dorm room using my laptop I let her borrow and they would both laugh in unison. Whenever we would talk to a guy and he mentioned anything about sex their response was always something along the lines of “Oh, we don’t do things like that. We have Christian values” while looking at me and indirectly stating “unlike her”. It was the first time in my life I had friends. My whole life, I had been an anti-social hermit and avoided people like the plague. My mom would always say, “I wish you got out more and had girl friends.” so, when college started, they basically forced me into becoming friends with these girls. For once in my life, I was normal. I had friends. And I regret it.

I was the college slut and they made sure to make sure that I knew that. I trusted the wrong guy my freshman year and ended up sleeping with him. It was the 3rd time in my life I had sex and it was my first time having sex with a black guy (it hurt like hell because his dick was so huge). It was completely out of my character, but what are the college years for? My whole life I’ve always been the “good girl” or the “nice girl” or the “quiet girl”. Why would I want to go into college with the same image I’ve had my whole life?

Newsflash: College is nothing like how they make it seem in those dumb cliche college theme Hollywood movies.

I liked him and decided to ask him out one day. We were texting back and forth. I would send a text and he would text back within a second or two. Two minutes tops. This is when I decided to ask him if he would date me and suddenly the texts stopped. He never replied back. I waited all night for his answer and cried myself to sleep that night in my dorm room. I dated an asshole in high school who ended up cheating on me. From then on, I promised myself that I would dump a guy and move on if he made me cry so I did. I didn’t want my college years to be filled with tears so I found another guy who made me happy. Of course, he got mad that I moved on and told the whole school what we did thus further proving his doucheness and further delving me into a world full being called ho, slut, and whore on the daily.

It doesn’t hurt anymore.

Outside of that, I was bullied for my religious beliefs or, should I say, my none religious beliefs. I considered myself to be an agnostic theist at the time meaning that I believed in a God, but admitted to not knowing who this God is. Everyone in southern Georgia is a Christian and, if you aren’t, they consider you to be a devil worshiper. So, not only was I a slut, I was also a devil worshiper. They (those “friends” I told you about) told me to come to their dorm room to watch a movie with them and I agreed because what are friends for? I happily walked on over to their dorm room at midnight and sat on their sofa thinking it would be another Tyler Perry movie which is bad in itself, but it was worse.

They had me watch one of those dumbass brainwashing Christian movies like Left Behind. Only people with no life watch those type of movies. I was friends with no life idiots. Before the movie started, they called me a “heathen” and had me watch the scene where the Christian characters were belittling a non-religious character. Of course, the non-religious character was evil and had no morals or care for human life. He threw tables around and acted like an animal while the Christians were pure, whole hearted good people who tried to “help” him. To make it worse, all throughout the movie, they asked me questions like “Do you hear that? Huh? Huh?!” when they mentioned scenes about going to hell and asked me if I wanted them to explain Christianity to me. They even had the audacity to get mad whenever I turned my head away and didn’t want to watch the movie because, yes, it makes perfect sense for a non-religious person to want to watch a movie about belittling their beliefs.

Why do Christians always think people don’t know what Christianity is? Christianity is one of the top three leading world religions; how would anyone not know what Christianity is? Did it ever occur to Christians that some people just purposely and intentionally choose not to believe in it?

For the first time in my life, I actually cried because my friends are so stupid.

I cried and called my mom in anger trying to explain to her the situation, but she is Christian too so it was hard for her to comprehend. Christian or atheist, Buddhist or Wiccan, we all can feel pain and we all know how we want to be treated. No matter what your beliefs are, you know right from wrong and no matter how much Christians try to cover up their bad behavior with the word “help” when they’re pushing their beliefs on someone or saying they do it out of “love” when they hate on homosexuals, they know they wouldn’t want to be treated that way.

Unsurprisingly, I was infuriated, but I didn’t show it. I didn’t flip tables over. I didn’t curse them out. I chose to not act like a wild animal like non-religious people were depicted in the movie because I knew that was how they expected me to respond. Instead, when the movie was over, I said “thank you and good night” and that was that.

Gyaru Tiny Chat meeting and finding my style

I attended my second gyaru Tiny Chat meeting on Saturday! It was so much fun ^__^

It was exciting to finally meet the girls (and guys) of the Black Gyaru of the World Facebook group.

The first meeting:

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The second meeting:

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and my look…

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I’m starting to get used to this HimeCastle wig 😡

I also just recently found out that Heri, my main style inspiration, is no longer a Grimoire Girl and will no longer be dressing in the dolly kei style. I talked with my friends on the dolly kei Facebook group about it and has been officially confirmed. This shatters my heart. She was such a huge inspiration to me. I even renamed my Tumblr blog in dedication to her style. I can no longer find as many pictures of her on Tumblr and I heard that she is now selling her dolly kei clothes as the Grimoire shop.

I decided to find as many pictures of her as a could to celebrate her remembrance.

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^ Such an inspiring picture! I think it was her most popular look.

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Her style was so original and artistic. If it weren’t for her, I probably would never have became interested in dolly kei to begin with. She will truly be missed.

Between talking to members of the two groups, it has really got me into thinking what style I really want to follow. I try to narrow it down to one, but I’m not sure if I can. I love too many styles, but, oddly, as the days pass, I’m starting to realize I may be less into the gyaru style than I used to be. I’ve researched so many gyaru substyles and just when I thought I finally found the one that describes my style perfectly (mori gyaru), all the girls in the Black Gyaru of the World Facebook group shout that mori isn’t a real gyaru style and you can’t mix Mori Girl with gyaru. My heart shattered in that moment. Outside of that, the only other gyaru style I kinda liked was Hime-kaji. They say they are both the same, but I don’t think so. If I do dress gyaru, I’ll probably just stick to Hime-kaji or sexier styles such as Mode or Onee Gal, but I definitely don’t love those styles as much as dolly kei and I lost most, if not all, my interest in cult party kei and I don’t think I love Mori Girl as much as I love dolly kei. Dolly kei seems to be taking over my life.

This realization scares me. I don’t want to leave the gyaru community. It is much more active than the dolly kei community. Everyone in the dolly kei community seems more laid back. There is no dolly kei secrets website like there is a gyaru secrets website so there is way less drama. I mentioned how hard it was to choose between gyaru and dolly kei in the dolly kei Facebook group and all the girls casually recommended that I just mix the two styles together like it was no big deal. If I were to mention this in the gyaru Facebook group, they’d probably all laugh and go on some rant about how that’s not what a gyaru truly is. But I can kinda understand their frustration. If you continuously mix and match every style, then what is the point of calling it “gyaru” if it’s not really gyaru? Gyaru then loses its own unique appearance and becomes confusing.

For this reason, I never really call myself a true gyaru. I just simply say my style is inspired by gyaru kei.

No pain, no gain

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Today makes the fourth consecutive day were I followed through with my plan and exercised.

January 2013 marked my resolution to lose weight and start exercising. It is now April and I’m just now even walking outside. That’s a damn shame. I’m starting off with a simple plan of working out five days a week. So far, I’ve been running/walking and jump roping. It usually takes me about 30 minutes to finish. It’s not much, but it’s a good start. I’m starting to notice that it gets easier and easier and the time it takes me to run around my neighborhood gets shorter and shorter. Today, I couldn’t run as much. Not because I was tired, but because my legs were literally in pain. I had to stop and massage them. They felt rock hard, like a cramp was coming on. I could feel every muscle in my leg and, despite this possibly meaning I was getting a leg cramp, in a way, it kind of inspired me. I enjoyed my firm legs and muscles for a second.

I know it’s far to early to see results, but that seems like a little taste of it. I was so tired by the time I got back to my house. Sweat was dripping down my face. I barged through the front door and I was so out of breath, I could barely say “hello” to my mother who greeted me in the kitchen. I wanted to tell her “hello” and tell her that I was done exercising. Please tell me why, in my in- between being awake and almost fainting from loss of breath, did I almost let the words “I’m done masturbating” escape my mouth?

I’m done talking to my mom.

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All of this working out has me thinking and dreaming again. There are quite a few new exercises that I want to learn. I thought I would share them with you today 🙂

1. Belly Dancing

I remember watching Shimmy on Fit TV after school and practicing my ass off. I would like to seriously take art up as a hobby.

2. Hoop Dancing

I actually already have a hula hoop for this. I had one specially customized by an Etsy seller by the name of SupaDupaHulaHoopa. She even put my name, Olivia Rochelle, on it in a font of my choosing. I would link her, but she no longer has a page any more which is a shame because she made absolutely gorgeous hoops. I was going to make my own hoop (You? Don’t make me laugh.), but I decided to buy her hoop because it was so pretty. I’ll make sure to take a picture of it next time! I practice every now and then, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m going to buy some Hoopnotica videos soon to teach me.

3. Burlesque Dancing

Not sure if this is really considered “exercise”, but whatever. I love it and I want to learn it. I’ve always admired Dita Von Teese and pin up girls and just being a tease in general. I’ve always had a dream of going to a burlesque school… but that probably will never happen…

4. Pole Dancing

I wanted to buy my own pole to practice, but, so far, I’ve noticed that poles are super fucking expensive TT____TT So I’m definitely going to attend some pole dancing classes one day.

I am also interested in Silks:

But I don’t think I will ever actually perform it. It just looks entirely way too hard and not as elegant/sexual to my liking.

All of this has got me thinking about the video I saw once of Lhouraii Li’s dance performance and I became instantly inspired. Lhouraii is definitely one of my most favorite gaijin gyaru. Most people argue if she even is gyaru, but that is the beauty of her. She is a style all of her own. No one could possibly copy her.

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She also hosts the Gaijin Gyaru Awards. If you don’t know what that is, well, here is the showing of last years awards ^___^

 

They’re now holding a talent contest for the awards of of 2013 and I would love to apply, but I’m don’t think I’m that good at hoop dancing yet and I don’t even practice any of the other dances yet TT____TT Correction: I know I’m not that good.

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27 month natural hair transition

The end of March made it my 27th month of transitioning to natural hair.

I planned to big cut on April 22, my birthday, BUT, oddly, my hair is still short. If I were to cut the relaxed ends, I don’t even think my natural hair would be long enough to put into a bun or a pony tail. I’m not sure why. I use all kinds of oils, protection styles, and even took MSM and biotin and multi-vitamin pills. Yet, my hair is still short after almost 30 months of transitioning. *sigh* Maybe it’s just too poofy for me to see its real length.

I’m not a length queen or anything, but, honestly, it would be nice if my hair was at least long enough to put into a bun on those not-so-good hair days. That would especially come in handy during work days. However, more than length, what I care about most is my hairs health. My heart would shatter if I found out my hair was invaded with split ends. I personally don’t see any so far, but I could be wrong. Lately I’ve been debating if I should cut my hair myself or let a professional do it… The first option seems to be winning in my mind right now.

I’ve learned a lot about my hair during these months- what it doesn’t like and what it does like and I’ve bought quite a bit of products to cater to its needs. I decided to compile a list of my holy grail products so far in my journey and give them the recognition they deserve 🙂

1. TRESemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture Conditioner

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PRICE: $6.50

INGREDIENTS: Water (Aqua) , Stearyl Alcohol , Cetyl Alcohol , Caprylic , Capric Triglyceride , Stearamidopropyl Dimethylamine , Fragrance (Parfum) , Lauroyl Lysine , Caprylyl Glycol , Brassica Campestris , Aleurites Fordi Oil Copolymer , Aspartic Acid , Distearyldimonium Chloride , Persea Gratissima Oil (Avocado) , Citric Acid , Alcohol , Isopropyl Alcohol , Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice

REVIEW: The Radiant Volume conditioner works pretty well too. I use these as a leave-in conditioner and as a rinse out conditioner. I love the fact that it has avocado oil and aloe vera in it. This stuff instantly makes my curls pop and it’s so cheap!

2. Shea Moisture Organic Coconut and Hibiscus Curl Enhancing Smoothie

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PRICE: $9.99

INGREDIENTS: Deionized Water, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea Butter), Cocos Nucifera Oil (Coconut), Macadamia Ternifolia Seed Oil, Persea Gratissima Oil (Avocado), Vegetable Glycerin, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Extract, Silk Protein, Ammonium Salt, Melia Azadirachta Seed Oil (Neem), Daucus Carota Sativa Seed Oil (Carrot), Sorbitol Esters, Panthenol (Pro-Vitamin B-5), Caprylyl Glycol, Essential Oil Blend, Lonicera Caprifolium Flower and Lonicera Japonica Flower Extract (Honeysuckle and Japanese Honeysuckle), Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

REVIEW: Shea butter, shea butter, shea butter. I will take any product with shea butter in it. This product was actually recently beaten as my staple moisturizer by product number 4 on this list, but I still feel that I should give this product recognition. I think I just about love every single Shea Moisture product there is.

3. Shea Moisture Organic Raw Shea Butter Deep Treatment Masque

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PRICE: $9.99

INGREDIENTS: Deionized Water, Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea Butter)*, Argan Oil, Vegetable Glycerin, Emulsifying Wax, Sea Kelp Extract, Panthenol (Vitamin B‐5), Essential Oil Blend, Avocado Oil, Lonicera Caprifolium (Honeysuckle) Flower (and) Lonicera Japonica (Japanese Honeysuckle) Flower extract, Tocopherol (Vitamin E), Hyssopus Officinalis Extract, Salvia Officinalis (Sage) Leaf and Equisetum Arvense Extract, Soybean Oil, Daucus Carota Sativa (Carrot) Seed Oil. *Denotes Certified Organic Ingredient.

REVIEW: I was hesitant to add this to the list because I really want to try the Purification masque first because I’ve read so many reviews saying that the Purification Masque is the most moisturizing out of all of Shea Moisture’s deep conditioners, but, for now, I am in love with this one. Definitely better than the Anti-Breakage Masque, in my opinion.

4. Camille Rose Naturals Almond Jai Twisting Butter

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PRICE: $16.50

INGREDIENTS: almond milk, distilled water, aloe vera leaf juice, BTMS, almond oil, jojoba oil, olive oil, pumpkin seed oil, macadamia oil, hemp, honey, green tea, marshmellow root, amla, optiphen, natural fragrance

REVIEW: This is honestly the best moisturizing product for my dry 4A/4B hair- hands down. Immediately upon putting this on my hair, I think I started praising Jesus. And I’m an atheist. This is the product that trumps the Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie and basically trumps any other moisturizing product. You haven’t had moisture until you’ve tried this. I am so glad I splurged and bought this.

5. Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose Moisturizing Conditioner

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PRICE: $10.93

INGREDIENTS: Water (Aqua), Cetyl Alcohol, Alcohol Denat. (38b, Lavender Organic), Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea Butter) (Organic), Triticum Vulgare (Wheat) Germ Oil, Lonicera Caprifolium (Honeysuckle) Extract, Aloe Barbadensis (Aloe Vera) Leaf Juice (Organic), Glycerin, Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Seed Oil (Organic), Rosa Rubiginosa Seed Oil (Organic), Citrus Grandis (Grapefruit) Extract, Tocopheryl Acetate, Foeniculum Vulgare (Fennel) Fruit Extract, Humulus Lupulus (hops) Extract, Melissa Officinalis (Balm Mint) Leaf Extract, Chamomilla Recutita (Matricaria) Extract, Glycine Soja (Soybean) Oil, Daucus Carota Sativa (Carrot) Root Extract, Beta Carotene, Hamamelis Virginiana (Witch Hazel) Water, Angelica Archangelica Extract, Chrysanthemum Sinense Flower Extract, Magnolia Biondii Flower Extract, Ascorbic Acid

REVIEW: Another great deep conditioner. Literally upon putting onto my hair for the first time, the first words that came out of my mouth were “holy fuck”. Instantly transforms dry, brittle hair into luscious coils.

6. Shea Butter

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PRICE: Varies

INGREDIENTS: All pure

REVIEW: Obviously this is on my list. Why wouldn’t it be? I love to seal with this.

7. Apple Cider Vinegar

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PRICE: Varies

INGREDIENTS: Organic, pure

REVIEW: I saved the best for last. If you don’t cleanse your hair with this, what’s wrong with you? You should. This stuff is like magic in a bottle. It is the only reason why I haven’t bought Shea Moisture’s Purification Masque yet. What is the need to buy another hair cleanser when you have ACV? A lot of people say the smell is too harsh, but whatever. Suck it up for a few minutes. You won’t regret it. Nothing makes my curls pop more than this.

So was I lying or was I not lying when I said natural hair products have the longest names in the world?

I’ve even tried Karen Body Beautiful, Kinky Curly, Oyin Handmade, and Curl Junkie products, but my opinion still remains the same. Just because it seems that most naturals recommend a certain product, that doesn’t mean it will be good for your hair. You just simply have to try it for yourself to see. Find out for yourself what your hair likes.

Gyaru Secrets and Fuck Yeah Western Gal

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There seems to be so much drama on Gyaru Secrets lately about how Fuck Yeah Western Gal, a Tumblr blog, only reblogs popular gyaru. Because of that, I was always weary of their Tumblr page, but, in a way, even if that secret were true, I could understand why someone would choose to only post popular, experienced gyaru compared to someone who doesn’t even know to properly apply eyelashes and just bought their first pair of Diamond Lashes yesterday. Well, they didn’t seek out my picture and post it themselves, but I did submit one of my pictures to them. It was the most boldest move any newbie gal could ever possibly do, but, to my surprise, they accepted my picture and I was so happy 😀 Of course, the picture received 0 notes (lol), but that’s no surprise. It was such a huge compliment to me to even be accepted. I wonder if this means that the secret about Fuck Yeah Western Gal is false or if they’re just intentionally trying to prove them wrong.

Of course, a few days later, the same picture I entered of myself was also the same picture that landed me my first secret admirer on Gyaru Secrets.

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I’m sure the poster meant it as an insult, but honestly I’m flattered that someone took 20 minutes out of their life to make such an elaborate, beautiful image collage just to sprawl out the words “ugly wannabe’s” in a barely legible pink font. The beautiful girls in the picture attract more attention than the words themself. Also, I find it such a compliment to even be on the same collage with Phillicia. I’m not even sure how such an experienced, obviously beautiful gal would even get on this image. In my opinion, I got off pretty easy for my first Gyaru Secrets post. It could have been much, much, much, much worse.

The one thing I do find sad about this though is the fact that I absolutely have no idea who the other girls are. I really need to meet more non-black gaijin gyaru and spread out from mainly posting in the Black Gyaru of the World Facebook group. I do post in other groups, but not as much.

Lately, I’ve been reading Gyaru Secrets more and more. When I didn’t practice gal, I would view it maybe once every 6 months or even once a year. But now that I do practice the make-up, I find myself reading it every week and that scares me. I didn’t know gyaru took this website so seriously. It’s even said that people tell others to “go commit suicide” on the site which angers me so much. Before, my image of Gyaru Secrets was just a joke, but, now that I’ve looked into it more, I’ve noticed so many secrets about gals that I grew up admiring and gyaru friends that I now have and I can’t even fathom why anyone would have so much hate for them.

I don’t understand why people take time our of their lives to break down new gals instead of giving them constructive criticism. I mean, obviously a new gal isn’t going to be perfect. Did you expect them to be?

If you don’t know what Gyaru Secrets is and you have no idea what this post is about then, good. Leave it that way 🙂

Browsing Tumblr (A site I used to hate, but now love just to post random pictures), I came across a blog by the name of “Gaijin Gyaru Problems” and I got a bit of a laugh from them so I decided to repost the ones I can relate to.

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