The Curse

The Curse

by Olivia Rochelle

God did it.

That’s what they yelled.

They ran around in the streets, screaming and waving their phallic symbols.

Pissed off, “it’s a curse!”, they whined.

Surprisingly, it was reported that, ever since that day, they closed their cookie shops and replaced them with health food stores.

They started crossing their legs- like ladies- and covering themselves- like ladies.

And replaced their cat calls with phone calls and readings of Sigmund Freud.

At first, they didn’t think much of it, but when Jon was released from the hospital a few days later passing them by without saying a word with his face in the dirt holding his new little bundle of joy, they thought it was bad.

But when Dave went to talk to his friends, seeking advice for manly things and asked how many is too many, confidently awaiting their reply, and they replied back saying, “Oh, yeah, you’re a whore”, they knew it was bad.

Parents everywhere rushed their hormone raging sons to the local andrologist in hopes of obtaining The Pill, and fathers everywhere were screaming.

It happened to the guy down the street, then to Kevin Federline, then to Dr. Roberts, then it started to hit home base.

Everyone wept.

But I smiled.

And I said, “now we are equal”.

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